Category: LGBT Discussion
Dear all,
I'm a new member here just trying to find online resources that would facilitate conversation between gay guys and women irregardless of thier sexual orientation? There are so many sites and services not fully accessible or accessible at all that I'd like to get some more bffs or nonromantic gfs so would appreciate any ideas. I could stick around here but would like to branch out further.
Thanks,
Peter a.k.a Emily sometimes
Ummm. well, you find friends of either sex for someone who is blind just the same way you'd find them for someone sighted, regardless of their sexual orientation. Besides. Why are you searching for friends for your gay friend. isnt' that a little... um...What do you call...Pathetic?
Sorry, but..
Yeah. let me tell you a little story.
When I was a kid, sometime in middle school, my TVI tried to be helpful. She tried to "help me make friends" by posting a sign on the resource room door where I'd sometimes go to print out school assignments or use a computer with JAWS before I was allowed to carry a laptop to classes.
Let me tell you what the sign said,
"if you stop by and B happens to be in here, say hi to her."
Needless to say, I didn't know there was even a sign up for the longest time. i caught on after a while because when kids would come by the room, they'd stop in and say hi to me for no reason; Kids I never talked to before, despite having been in classes with them for years in some cases.
I did ask one trusted friend why all these kids I didnt' know would walk in, have a conversation with someone and then say "hi" to me out of the blue. Kind of like Oh, hi. just as an aside . Well, the friend told me about the sign, rather sheepishly. Imagine my disgust and dismay at the humiliation and the ignorance of this well-intensioned teacher. I had a word with her after, for sure.
The truth was, I had a tight circle of friends, but there were just a few of us. I was not unsociable at school, but like many blind people in a mainstream school system, I wasn't the social butterfly either. I was shy, quiet, and like I said, stayed close to a small group of friends.
The teacher thought that was a problem, especially since I was blind; She thought she could help me by forcing a friendship here and there. But friends are made naturally. No forced setting will help anyone make a friend or multiple friends, regardless of who they are or what their disability might be. Encourage your gay friend to go out if possible, get involved in groups, etc. Even online groups...And if you can, go places with him and be a sidekick, so the both of you might make some new friends. I'm not sure looking for friends for someone else is going to turn out well for you or your friend...
Unless, of course, you are the "friend" you speak of in your post. If that's the case, same advice. Make friends naturally. This is a good group to start with, but for goodness sake, try not to be lame about it. No one wants to be friends with someone who's looking for friends just for the sake of having someone they can label as a friend.
The truest, most worthwhile friendships are made naturally and spontaneously. Never forget that.
By the way, I'm a girl,and I am good friend material--Potentially. So let's not be weird and make these kind of paternalistic posts about finding friends for poor blind people, just jump into it instead. Message people, introduce yourself, say hi. I, for one, am always up for a new potential friend, whether gay or streight, guy or girl blue or yellow or silverish green... No big deal. There's no need to make a big deal about the art of making friend. Just throw yourself into it, and if you're really seeking friends for your gay male friend, then just pass along my advice. and tell him to join the zone.
Hey; I reread your original post, and I may have misread your intention. My bad. Sorry; My brain's a bit fried from working all day. But in any case,
A good online group would be a site like this. Even a site like facebook has lgbt groups where, I'm sure, one could find new people to chat with.
This site is good because it has a diverse population; You'll find people of all sexual preferences on here, potential friends of both genders, and many people on here are from overseas, so you might even score yourself an international friend--you never know.
Anyway, good luck in your search for resources. This is a good one, I'd say.
B
Yes, it was in fact not for another person butt myself as the post illustrates to any reader with an acorn! Didn't know that anybody would have read my post with the lacluster responses demonstrated on the limited posts since 2009 that is all. Moreover, I have heard bad rumors on the Zone and had a mixed reaction on my first account like a year and a half ago. I'm willing to give another try just with the whole interactive chatting that lots of people get involved between people like drama gets kind of crazy. Guess you could say that I'm a type of person who is very selective with who I meet and reveal myself to that is all.
This might come across as cras just that my intention in my original post wasn't to attract all women. I'd like to talk to women cause they tend to be more open minded than do guys on average. They also share much interests like I do in music, fashion, bf talk and lots of other things not to mention on this short list. Sorry that I had no idea that I'd irritate somebody on this but you have got me all wrong completely not even near the ball park of my intentions at all. I'll stay here in the Zone for a little longer just haven't much in the way of hope yet.
No; I didn't mean to come across as an airhead. Upon rereading my first post on this topic, I can admit that it was about as off-topic and irrelevant a post as I've ever created on here.
Ah, well. Miscommunications.
Furthermore, I didn't actually mean to come across as irritated; I was thrown by your tagline for the board. I honestly thought you were looking to find your blind, gay friend a suitable social life. ha. well. Talk about not reading something carefully enough.
Sorry. I'm not nearly as dumb as I look right now, I promise. hahahaha.
I understand what you're saying now and I agree that the zone has a ton of drama queens, but hey, I've made some neat friends on here, and I don't really like drama myself. So hang in there and give it a chance. Also have you ever heard of a site called
for the people?
I haven't been on it myself but I've heard good things about it. It's another social network/chatting system for blind people. .
Well, now that I've made a sufficient ass of myself and subsequently attempted to smooth over the feaux pa, good luck once again. Feel free to say hi if we're both on simultaneously.
b
Post 1: I hope you are not mistaken into thinking that just because she's a chick she'll be more open-minded to your sexual orientation. I am aware of, and ashamed of, my own youthful behaviors calling queers fags and the like, back in the 1980s. I, too, used to think that was just guys, acting out. But I have known women in recent years with a startlingly hostile disposition against you gay guys, something I had beforehand not thought of.
So while you should do whatever you wish in your interests, just don't wear a pair of blinders regarding chicks and this same punk-ass attitude some of us fool guys had when we were younger. Little dipshit is little dipshit, no matter what the gender. Of course it is possible for them to grow up and out of, many of us 40s and up have done just that.
I do understand where you coming from on the interests thing: the family out here is pretty much a chick fest, so I'm always glad when there's someone else to have beers with and sit outside and grill and that.
Thanks to the both of you for your thoughtful posts! I guess it did come across as naive cause of generalizing but I can only go off of what I've seen myself. Lots of american e.g. southern girls are secretly a gay guys best friend just haven't found any where I live now. I'd like to have a friend to dress up with and talk to about boys and the alike. Women also tend o listen better that is something that I'm working on myself on people and all cause its amazing how much we guys lose track of in conversations. All I'm saying is we can learn a lot of each other from weaknesses to strengths.
I like women for exactly the same reasons you do.
I'm a guy, and will talk to you on any level you with.
I think some people get the Zone wrong. Discussions should be seen as that not drama.
Yes I do admit some people actually get in to drama, but for the most part, at least on the boards, I take all post as discussion and not personal. I lean much and have even been able to change my mind on a point.
Odd, but I think women will naturally just talk to you. If there is no threat of romance and they feel they can just be a friend, then they talk. This is for both sides.
Enjoy.
Write, that note on the door made me laugh. Smile. Must have been interesting all these people just popping in saying hi.
Well, the teacher meant well.
People will try to pull you in to their drama, but if you don't allow it they can't. If they try to get a reaction out of you, don't react.
On another note, I used to be quiet and let people come up to me and say hi first when I was younger. After a while I tried saying simple things like, how's it going. as I passed people when I was out walking or in a store. It's best to try doing it without thinking too hard about how to approach someone.
At the same time, realize that there are hateful people out there, and they wouldn't appreciate somebody who is gay coming up to them and saying they are gay right off the bat. It might be out of fear, but I'm bringing this up from what I've seen from a guy who did that, and still does, here on my college campus. Personally I have no reason to be afraid of someone who is gay, but for whatever reason a lot of people are.
The fear is igrnorance and a symptom of a systematic collapse of failed expectations of the U.S education system
It probably has to do with how you are raised, too. I'm not trying to excuse it, because I don't believe it's right to be nasty to someone, but to some it is a justifyable reason.
How can you justify opression?
Personally I couldn't. But I'm sure they have lots of stupid reasons that they try to use.